Loneliness and the Need for Personal Connections

Austrian psychiatrist Viktor Frankl’s experiences in a Nazi concentration camp led him to write Man’s Search for Meaning. Published in 1946, the book has sold more than 16 million copies and continues to maintain best-seller status.

One of his most noted quotes—“When a person can’t find a deep sense of meaning they distract themselves with pleasure”—expresses one of his core philosophical concepts.

Distracting ourselves with pleasure would seem to characterize life in 2025. A trip to the nearest campus will yield a picture of little conversation. Everyone’s faces are buried in their phones, regardless of age.

That’s the case almost anywhere one ventures.

I remember a visit to a favorite restaurant several years ago. I felt sorry for the young woman I saw a couple booths over, sitting idly while her date scrolled on his phone. But a few minutes later, I glanced over and he was sitting idly while his date did the same.

Electronic Enchantment

I wonder if enchantment with our electronic devices is one of the root causes of the modern plague of loneliness.

Because of research on a couple books and articles, I became aware of former Surgeon General Vivek Murthy’s comments nearly two years ago. He said that our nation was suffering from an epidemic of loneliness.

Murthy, who stepped down recently, talked about hearing of the problem from people feeling isolated, invisible and insignificant.

He later confirmed that impression through scientific literature. And that was before the COVID-19 epidemic cut off so many from friends, loved ones, and support systems, he wrote.

“Loneliness is far more than just a bad feeling,” Murthy said. “It harms both individual and societal health. It is associated with a greater risk of cardiovascular disease, dementia, stroke, depression, anxiety, and premature death.”

My previous research on loneliness is one reason a Time magazine article in early January caught my eye. The headline: “Why a ‘Third Life’ Is the Answer to America’s Loneliness Epidemic.”

I had heard a similar term, “third place,” during years of reporting on the Christian retailing industry. Back in the mid- to late 1990s, those serving that niche market were striving to make their stores one of those informal gathering spots outside of home and work.

Third Places Ebb

What I didn’t know until I read the Time article was that sociologist and college professor Ray Oldenberg had coined the term in 1989 in his book, The Great Good Place. (A paperback version released in 2023, the year after his death.)

Time noted that Oldenburg warned back then that the role of these places in making cultures vibrant and communities cohesive represented a diminishing aspect of America’s social landscape.

He was right to worry, said journalist Adam Chandler. He noted the roles of everything from coffee shops to libraries, community centers, and houses of worship, has  faded—something he says carries unnerving consequences.

“For many people, the cost of living has increasingly turned free time into a luxury,” Chandler wrote. “And, in the place of in-person socialization, we’ve bent our necks toward our screens.

“And while it may feed us an endless stream of perfect Corgi videos, it also has allowed work to seep into our off hours and has facilitated an unprecedented loneliness crisis among younger Americans.”

Ironic how Chandler’s comments reflect Frankl’s observation, one that appeared nearly eight decades ago. It could be that modern-day folks who consider themselves so wise in this era of Artificial Intelligence need to turn to the past for wisdom.