Writers Must Face Down Rejection

Rejection. Nobody likes it. So many fear it they never set out to attempt anything, held back by trepidation of possible failure or facing scorn and ridicule.

Nothing dampens would-be writers spirit more than fear of rejection. I know because of the folks who in the past approached me at writers conferences, cowering as they ask timidly, “Would you look at my article?”

I understand. When I set out to make a living as a freelancer, sometimes it was easier to not send out an article or a sample book chapter that day.

If only slightly, procrastination would delay the arrival of another form letter saying, “This doesn’t fit our needs.”

Yet, learning to handle rejection is part of breaking through the veil. It is a key to developing the thick skin needed to keep going. Innate optimism is another asset: the belief that tomorrow will be a better day.

Powerful Triumphs

When it comes to learning to handle rejection, I recommend would-be writers check out the Jan/Feb. issue of Writer’s Digest. The issue contains two stories by authors who triumphed over rejection, with powerful results.

“To be a writer is to be vulnerable,” wrote Karen DeBonis, the author of a 2023 memoir titled Growth: A Mother, Her Son, and the Brain Tumor They Survived. “I chose to face my terror, to tell my story so that other women—other mothers—might learn from my mistakes.”

The book is a story all its own, but her WD piece is about a talk she scheduled at a library after her memoir’s release. Nobody showed up. The article’s title: “My No-Show Book Talk Was the Best Thing to Happen to Me as a Writer.”

As a writer, I know nothing could be more discouraging; I did a book signing once where the only three copies sold were those my father bought to send to relatives.

But DeBonis took lemons and made lemonade, asking her husband to snap a photo of her seated in a room full of empty chairs.

The next morning she posted the photo and a comment on X (Twitter); dozens of supportive comments soon appeared. By late that afternoon, her post had 500,000 views.

“Your honesty and transparency will be inspirational and reassuring to a lot of authors, Karen, including me,” one wrote. “Bravo I say.”

Henry Winkler, better known as “The Fonz” from the popular 1970s sitcom, Happy Days, and then on his own book tour, added, “I am so sorry. Been there … only the best to you.”

The icing on the cake: seeing her book then skyrocket up on Amazon’s rankings.

Learning Perseverance

The other worthwhile WD article is titled, “Learning From Rejection.”

Comedian Jack Handey offers a series of worthwhile tips gleaned from collecting rejection slips from 63 (!) publishers before his book, Deep Thoughts, found a home.

I hadn’t heard of Handey before this, nor did I know that his amusing observations on life first aired as short bits in between sketches on Saturday Night Live.

Not only has Deep Thoughts sold more than 500,000 copies, the sequels have sold several hundred thousand copies.

Now, Handey offers such sound advice as trying to fulfill a publisher’s needs, making your writing even, and making sure the book has broad appeal. That includes a title that applies to a wide range of readers.

But the main thing I took away from his article is the determination every writer must develop to deal with disappointment and a never-ending series of doors slamming in your face.

Like him—and Karen DeBonis—we must learn to laugh at our own embarrassment.