Dolly Parton Was an Example
More than a week has lapsed since the passing of country music legend Dolly Parton. Given the mountain of condolences and praises offered her—and the ultimate honor of flags flown at half-staff nationwide—I’m not sure I can add much to all the distinguished words.
Still, I feel it necessary to note that one shining quality of Dolly Parton was her commitment to her marriage. She spent 58 years with Carl Dean before he died in March of 2025.
I don’t think it’s a coincidence that she only lasted another 17 months. A heart broken by that kind of loss can only stand so much, even for a superstar like Dolly.
Her death reminded me of a former state legislator from our area whose wife died a year or so ago. Married for more than 60 years, he only lasted a month after she passed.
Marital Stability
Speaking as one who marked 47 years with my spouse last February, I can say that a long-lasting marriage brings a joy and a stability to life like few other things.
I’m not knocking those who have been through a divorce; some of my best friends and family members have endured such a sting.
Still, I don’t think one’s system can withstand the shock of parting with a spouse very well. I have known people who divorced and saw their business crater, mental outlook shatter, or children struggle years after the calamity.
Now, I know Dolly was a once-in-a-lifetime sort of star, combining her singing talent with business sense and a heart as big as all outdoors to bless millions of people around the world.
Yet, I think one reason she could dream so big and accomplish so much was the foundation she laid long ago. Not just saying, “I do,” but living as if she meant it.
That included surviving an extramarital affair (emotional, not physical) she confessed to at one point. The fact that the couple stayed married gives me more admiration for their longevity.
In a story published by People magazine the day she died, the singer talked in 2020 of doing the little things that help a marriage survive.
“It’s like certain days, you feel a certain way,” she told People. “And I’ll say, ‘I’m going to surprise him. And we’re going to have real cloth napkins and real crystal. I’m going to put the real china out instead of the paper plates we usually eat on because we don’t want to have to wash dishes.’”
Remembering Dolly’s Faithfulness
I see all kinds of fallout from our society’s casual treatment of marriage.
I’m so used to elected officials (local, state, and federal) resigning before their term has ended, I think a standard question voters ought to ask campaigners is: “Are you going to stay until it’s over?”
I think this habit of failing to see things to the end reflects the “quitting when things get tough” ethic exemplified by divorce.
When I grew up, of a dozen or so guys in our neighborhood, only one lived in a home without a father present. Actually, there were two, but the uncle who lived with one friend served as a male model in that household.
Now, teachers tell me it’s common to see 50% or more of their students coming from broken homes.
This means we can not only praise Dolly Parton for her talent and philanthropy. We should emulate her devotion to her marriage. It was the foundation of everything else she did.
