Writers: Get Over Yourself

It has been a while since I led a day-long workshop for a group of Christian writers near Boston. I spent considerable time planning it, but a spontaneous comment I made in one session offered my best piece of advice that Saturday.

“You want to know the key to being successful?” I asked. Then I paused before adding, “This is going to sound mean … get over yourself.

“Not every mark someone makes on your article or a chapter in your book is a personal slight or an insult to your ability. It isn’t an attack on your character or a putdown of your writing skills. If you aren’t open to constructive criticism, you aren’t going to go far as a writer.”

I know this is true because I used to be one of those folks who took rejections personally, often letting them throw me into a funk for the entire day.

That’s part of the hazard of being a writer: sensitivity is one reason you can observe, interpret, and then shape words into messages that inform and inspire. But this sensitivity has a downside, leaving you vulnerable to perceived slights that often don’t exist.

I often wondered why editors seemed so unfeeling or why they didn’t realize I knew their writers’ guidelines so well I had nearly memorized them verbatim.

In my isolation, I regularly lapsed into a “me vs. the world” mindset. I saw other writers as the competition, trying to beat me to the finish line or possessing some kind of magical skill that earned them more bylines.

One time, I spent more than two years trying to sell an article to a magazine. When I finally succeeded in getting an assignment, the editor liked my story so much he asked, “Where have you been?”

“Where have I been?” I thought. “I’ve been trying to get your attention for two years.”

That editor went on to give me regular assignments that helped my career thrive.

Pressing the Flesh

My outlook changed after I finally acquired the means to attend a major writers conference. Once I had a chance to talk with other writers, editors, publishers, and others in the industry, I realized these people were not the competition.

They were my peers, friends, and colleagues, all working toward the same goal: lifting up the name of Christ. Many had less experience than I did, but they didn’t let that dim their optimism and goal to become more skilled at their craft.

Best of all, they “got me.” They understood the difficulties of trying to get published in a highly competitive arena. They understood caring so much about your work that you lived, breathed, and ate it.

As one writer I met put it: “It’s like having homework forever.”

Sea Changes

Publishing has been through a sea change in the last two decades. Yet the opportunities are still there for those brave enough to put themselves out there.

Recently I sat in on a Zoom call led by two writers/editors who discussed how to succeed without relying on social media.

One recalled knocking herself out to develop an Instagram audience for her book, only to burn out and recognize a legion of “followers” didn’t guarantee success. She shifted to hosting podcasts and turned that into a six-figure-income generator.

The reason I mention this is because, even though the methods and means of delivering words have changed, chances to touch others through your writing still exist. Don’t let petulant self-pity hold you back as you pursue the opportunity.